Capacity to Hold

Holding, not hoarding, nourishes us

Have you heard of the Carrier Bag Theory of human evolution? Proposed by anthropologist Elizabeth Fisher in 1979, and later gaining attention in the 1980s because of an essay by proponent Ursula Le Guin, the Carrier Bag Theory believes that one of the first things humans must have created was a bag to collect and carry things. Previous, and still current, anthropological studies say that spears and knifes were the first things humans created and that moved our evolution forward. Referred to as the “killer ape” theory, this approach states that early hominids developed intelligence and bipedalism to wield weapons, hunt big game, and fight off rivals. Certainly stone tools of this kind are some of the oldest artifacts we have found. But bags and baskets of course decompose, so they are unlikely to be found thousands of years later. Evidence suggests that early human’s diets were majority gathered foods- berries, nuts, vegetables, seeds. It would have been paramount to create a way to collect these and take them with us, rather than just eating what we could hold in our hands on the spot.

I love how this Carrier Bag Theory implies that human development was linked to our ability to create ways to gather the goodness the Earth offers us and to hold it for later. Nourishment becomes linked to not only taking in but our capacity to create a cradling space for what we need or desire.

For human minds and hearts this reflects for me our need to hold ideas and insights so that we can process them more deeply. Have you had that experience when you have a transcendent experience and you feel full to overflowing with something precious? But then when you re-enter “normal” life with people asking you – How was it? What happened? And you try to talk about it, maybe genuinely wanting to share, but your words seem flat and superficial and in speaking you feel like the magic of the experience is dissipating. This is partly because you haven’t had time to hold it within yourself.

Insight can come quickly. Flashes, rising like the flush in your cheeks when excited. Sometimes new awareness comes to us like a fog, somewhat undefined but felt on the skin. Sometimes a teacher’s words roll over us, a series of YESes, a return of our own knowing, a resonance. Sometimes an idea comes that overwhelms or has secret steps not yet revealed to us. In any of these cases, the new wisdom benefits from being held - allowing the soul to filter and incorporate other aspects of self and life into a new creative whole, taking it with us wherever we go.

So think of a basket full of goodness that you carry home with you, full of nourishment for later. This basket will continue to feed you. And it will bring new ingredients to mix with what you already have in your cupboards at home, new recipes, new tastes. We want a sturdy means to hold things, ideas, inspiration, nourishment, sweetness.

We might also think of a cooking pot or caldron as an example of a potent holding place. Into the big pot we can put a plethora of ingredients, a richness of harvest and gathering. We bring these things together and then we place it over the magic of fire – the alchemical transforming element – and it all combines to become something new. Maybe a stew or a salve or a pudding. Whatever it may be, it will have been improved by time held together with heat. Each ingredient informs and interacts with the others. Fire softens, deepens, opens.

Modern capitalist culture tells us to grab what we can – on demand. Ingest it immediately! Don’t stop what you are doing, just take it, use it now. Then keep searching for the next thing. Swipe. Swipe. Swipe. Always slightly hungry, unsatisfied.

And this is true with ideas and insights too. After receiving powerful teaching or creative impulse, our urge is to immediately “make use of it”, put it out into the world, build a career around it. We feel we must make everything productive as quickly as possible or we are wasting it. This does such a disservice to the creative process of refinement and seasoning. Time for incorporation includes all of who we are and then what we have held in our inner caldron, over our own life fire, is able to become a unique expression of you – not just an idea you heard.

Holding is a creative practice. Being full is a gift. What if we lingered there a bit more? What incredible flavors and combinations might develop?

We are gatherers. Foragers of life and insight.

Our bodies too are holding spaces, carrying memories and emotions with us. And we do need means and practices to empty or release pent up energy and emotion, especially in our largely sedentary culture now. Letting go is important. But so too is holding.

In therapy or spiritual counseling sessions with people I guide, I often am inviting them to slow down and actually hold an emotion or memory just a bit longer than they are conditioned to. I find we have been trained to evade and move past emotions quickly, even happy ones like awe or deep love or pleasure. Mindfulness-based counseling asks that we hold long enough for real awareness to arrive. Awareness of sensation, associated thoughts or beliefs, imagery, breath, tears, gestures. And what happens when we create a space to hold these inner processes is that they gently change. A lot of the stuckness people fear and experience with challenging emotions actually has to do with avoidance of holding them compassionately so that we can feel them and they can do their work of aliveness. It is incredible how often someone will come with an emotion they have felt on the periphery for years, causing pain or friction, and with a few minutes of sitting with the emotion, held in a loving way, the pattern begins to change.

(photo of pine needle basket woven by basket weaving teacher Erin Cox)

We don’t need to hold things forever. But we do need a way to give things and ourselves time to become seasoned. This is weaving baskets of time and integration so that each experience or gift can grow, change, nourish us as needed.

Hoarding is not a natural law; it generates waste and is not in the common good for humans or animals. There is actually little evidence of widespread hoarding throughout human history. We have functioned best in collaborative communities, where necessities and gifts were shared and what was gathered was used before it could spoil. Hoarding is different from caching, which is how animals gather food for Winter when gathering new food is less available. Caching is a natural discernment about what will be needed.

Some things are meant to be gobbled up immediately like a cone from the unexpected ice cream cart or a hug from a good friend you rarely see. But many things benefit from a space to rest in for a while and a way to travel with you through your days. Carry these things to a fire and let them transform and incorporate.

The blackberry bushes along our fence are full of berries in various stages of ripeness. Earlier in the summer we would just stand and pick the few ripe ones, plucking them from between the thorns and straight into our mouths, sun warm and sweet. Now the days are hotter and the berries are ripening in big groups, hanging dark and heavier on the branches. So today I took a bowl out to pick, filling it with enough berries to add to an arugula salad. Tomorrow maybe enough for a crumble. Richness.

Is there something in your life that perhaps is calling to be held by you a bit longer? Something that is still developing or integrating?

Can you give yourself a holding space to let the life flowing to you really nourish you?

How do we create Holding spaces for each other?

One of the most beautiful ways I know is to meet in Council. These are small groups of people who commit to listening to each other in deep friendship - no advice giving or trying to rush a process, simply listening from the heart. In this way we give each other space to hold and integrate and to bring creativity and wildness to their lives. Sharing honestly and openly and having our unique stories and gifts reflected back to us as others gently get to know us is transformative.

This September we are opening 3 Councils, each with a different guide focusing on our different skill sets and gifts. Mine will be focused on Embodying Wholeness as an Offering to the Sacred Wild. Each Council will meet twice a month on zoom.

If you think you are interested, reach out or go straight to our Council Application.

And of course consider joining our community at Intimate with Moon and Soil, an online community for people who sense the world is alive and want to explore the wild within and the living world around them—through creativity, dreams, embodiment, and meaningful conversation.